11/16/2006
A Letter From David Aebischer to the Hockey Fans Of Denver
Denver HEY! How does now the thick and biggy size bag of Wendy's?
Well, hahahahaha and FONDUE!
I hope all is you happy with now and my dumping gived me last we speaked in Denver. Now I turn around and too enjoy dumpage! On your heads, HAHAAA!
Looky here aand see this. PTOOOEY! Now whose boss? Many nights spent worryin' and wonderin' what becomed of career. Once I rosed above the noise and confusion, just to get a glimpse beyond disillusion. But if I claims to be a wise man. Surely, it means dat I dunno. So I comed at Montreal. PTOOEY! Oh, but yah, nice goaltennin' dere. HOLEY MOLEY!
Go hell to you, Avalanche ladies and mens. Enyoy yer mindernetter, Mister Smarmy. Yoyyoyoy, what a man full with holes! I rarely have time shooting at one of which to choosing, rilly. PTOOOEY!
Sincereally, Cendy
Jose Hoses Hose
Fans of Terry Frei (there are six of them, and four are named "Frei" and one is Terry himself) know that Hose Theodore is a great goalie. If you don't believe it, read Frei's article "Theodore Wasn't A Bad Acquisition," or another Frei article, "Theodore Is Great. Really." More clutch insights can be gleaned from Frei articles like, "Theodore Continues To Be Not That Bad," and another one, "I Am Terry Frei And I Know Everything And Theodore Is Great So Shut Up." While you're looking these up, another great article to check out is "Everyone Who Doesn't Agree With Me, Terry Frei, Should Leave The Playground Or I Will Scream."
Hose got smoked again last night by San Hose, who peppered our Hose with nearly eleven shots, four of which he was helpless to stop. A full recap of the game can be found in today's Terry Frei article, "I Can't Hear You I Can't Hear You I Can't Hear You."
"The effort was there," Joe Sakic said afterward in his trademark commanding mumble. "We keep playing like that, we're going to get rewarded. Now if you'll excuse me, there's a bowl of milk and a piece of Wonder bread toast with The Captain's name on it. Step aside or, uh, gosh... I dunno."
Hose got smoked again last night by San Hose, who peppered our Hose with nearly eleven shots, four of which he was helpless to stop. A full recap of the game can be found in today's Terry Frei article, "I Can't Hear You I Can't Hear You I Can't Hear You."
"The effort was there," Joe Sakic said afterward in his trademark commanding mumble. "We keep playing like that, we're going to get rewarded. Now if you'll excuse me, there's a bowl of milk and a piece of Wonder bread toast with The Captain's name on it. Step aside or, uh, gosh... I dunno."
11/09/2006
Hose's Fire Sale Continues
The Pepsi Center shook with boos as Hose Theodore gave up goal after goal to the LA Kings last night. The Kings beat the Dives 6-5, but if there'd been another hour in the game it could've been 68-6.
Denver International Airport reported long delays last night, as players from around the NHL hurridly flew to Denver in hopes of bargain hunting at Hose's Red Light Special. Meanwhile, recreational hockey leagues around Denver reported numerous forfietures as players flocked to the Pepsi Center in hopes of lighting one against a pro.
Even the spastic gentleman who delights Pepsi Center audiences with his nightly seizures to the tune of "Thank God I'm A Country Boy" got in on the action, chalking up his first career hat trick.
Denver International Airport reported long delays last night, as players from around the NHL hurridly flew to Denver in hopes of bargain hunting at Hose's Red Light Special. Meanwhile, recreational hockey leagues around Denver reported numerous forfietures as players flocked to the Pepsi Center in hopes of lighting one against a pro.
Even the spastic gentleman who delights Pepsi Center audiences with his nightly seizures to the tune of "Thank God I'm A Country Boy" got in on the action, chalking up his first career hat trick.
